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Lots of people think that the best way to become successful is to pick up lots of new habits and skills. While this can help, sometimes the best thing you can do is give up the things that distract you from your goals.

Instead of adding more things to your life, try removing some negative things that hold you back from success. Some are very easy to give up, while others require a little more time and effort.

Here are 8 things that you should remove from your life to be more successful:

1. Remove Excuses

Successful people don’t try to blame their family, their friends, their boss or their co-workers for their life. Instead, they understand that they are fully responsible for their own life and situation. They see this as a good thing as it means that they hold the power to significantly improve their life. When you make up excuses you are lying to yourself, which will hold you back from achieving your goals.

 

2. Remove Perfectionism

Perfection is unattainable, so trying to achieve it is a waste of your time. Instead of worrying about mistakes that you have made or physical flaws that bother you, simply focus on trying to better yourself with small steps. No one is perfect, but anyone can make the decision to be a better person.

3. Remove Fear

Lots of people make themselves smaller without realizing; they keep quiet during discussions when they want to say something; they avoid taking risks; and they always think about the worst-case scenario. This fearful attitude will stop you from achieving your full potential, so remove it from your life and be brave instead; speak up, voice your thoughts and actively chase your dreams and goals.

4. Remove The Need To Control Everything

You can’t control everything, and trying to do so is a futile task. It won’t help you to become more successful, but it will make you feel stressed, upset and frustrated. Instead of trying to control everything around you, make an effort to care less about the things you can’t control and focus on the things that you can.

 

5. Remove A Fixed Mindset

Lots of people have a fixed mindset and they make no effort to learn more or change their perception. This makes it hard for them to become more successful as their mindset is stuck in the past. Try to embrace knowledge and learning, and remember that you can always become wiser.

6. Remove The Desire For Overnight Success

Some people believe that the majority of successful people became successful overnight, or that they became successful by chance. While luck can certainly play its part, you can’t rely on luck to become successful. In reality success takes time and dedication, so you should plan for the future as well as the day ahead of you.

7. Remove Toxic People

If the people around you are negative and pessimistic, over time you will start to become negative and pessimistic too. Remove the toxic people from your life and replace them with optimistic, supportive people who genuinely care about you and your dreams. You will find that you are more motivated to work on your goals, and you will be happier and less stressed.

 

8. Remove The Need To Say Yes (When Really You Want To Say No)

Some people struggle to say no to the people around them, even if they want to say no. This normally means that they end up wasting time doing things that they don’t want to do, and other people might start to take advantage of them. Be brave and say no when you want to; only you can make your dreams a priority, and it is difficult to do that if you are too busy helping other people with their dreams.

Source: This article was published on lifehack.org by - Amy Johnson

 

Categorized in Business Research

In 2014, Dave Kerpen, chief executive of Likeable Local and author of "The Art of People," received a postcard that illustrated the traits and behaviors of successful and unsuccessful people.

The card came from fellow Entrepreneurs' Organization member Andy Bailey, the chief executive of Petra Coach, a business-coaching service. Although the two CEOs have never met, Kerpen said in a 2014 LinkedIn post that the postcard has had a profound effect on him, "reinforcing values I believe in and reminding me on a daily basis of the attitudes and habits that I know I need to embrace in order to become successful.

"The postcard, at right, points out 16 big differences between successful and unsuccessful people. Below we highlight six of our favorites, plus seven others Kerpen shared with us in a recent interview.

Read on to find out what distinguishes superstars from everyone else:

1. Successful people embrace change; unsuccessful people fear it

"Embracing change is one of the hardest things a person can do," Kerpen says in his 2014 LinkedIn post.

With the world moving fast and technology accelerating at a rapid speed, it's imperative that we embrace these changes and adapt, rather than fear, deny, or hide from them, he says. Successful people are able to do just that.

2. Successful people talk about ideas; unsuccessful people talk about people

Instead of gossiping about people, which gets you nowhere, successful people discuss ideas.

"Sharing ideas with others will only make them better," Kerpen says.

 

3. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures; unsuccessful people blame others

Truly successful leaders and businesspeople experience ups and downs in their lives and careers, but they always accept responsibility for their failures.

He says blaming others solves nothing: "It just puts other people down and absolutely no good comes from it."

4. Successful people give others all the credit for their victories; unsuccessful people take all the credit from others

 

Letting people have their moments to shine motivates them to work harder and, consequently, makes you look better as a leader or teammate.

5. Successful people want others to succeed; unsuccessful people secretly hope others fail

"When you're in an organization with a group of people, in order to be successful, you all have to be successful," Kerpen says.

That's why the most successful people don't wish for their demise — they want to see their coworkers succeed and grow.

6. Successful people continuously learn; unsuccessful people fly by the seat of their pants

 

The only way to grow as a person, professional, and leader is to never stop learning.

"You can be a step above your competition and become more flexible because you know more," he writes. "If you just fly by the seat of your pants, you could be passing up opportunities that prevent you from learning (and growing!)."

7. Successful people ask how they can help others; unsuccessful people ask how they can help themselves

Kerpen told Business Insider that the best question you can ask when you first meet an influential person isn't "How can you help me?" but "How can I help you?"

Of course, you should be willing and able to help the person if they take you up on your offer.

But regardless of whether they accept or decline, he says simply offering your assistance makes people feel warmer toward you, and makes them more inclined to help you when you need it.

8. Successful people take a chance and ask for what they want; unsuccessful people are afraid of failure

"Rejection and failure are two of the most paralyzing fears," he says, and they often prevent people from asking for what they really want.

"If we don't ask for what we want we think on some level that we can't fail; we can't get rejected," Kerpen says. "But in reality we're almost guaranteed that we're going to fail because we're not going to get what we want.

"In "The Art of People," he gives the example of a salesperson who was failing to win any customers, simply because she wasn't asking directly for their business at the end of her pitch. Once she started being more forthright, her sales increased.

If you want to be successful, your mantra should be something like "Embrace the fear of no; then ask for the yes."

9. Successful people are always looking to better understand themselves; unsuccessful people don't care about introspection

 

"The first step in learning how to better influence others to get what you want in your career and in life, is to understand yourself," Kerpen writes in the book.

Specifically, he says you should understand your unconscious motivations, what shifts your mood, and how you best interact with others.

If you're looking to learn more about yourself, Kerpen recommends the Enneagram assessment, cowritten by Mario Sikora. The assessment divides people into nine categories, including those who strive to be connected and those who strive to be detached.

You can find the Enneagram in Sikora's book, "Awareness to Action," or in "The Art of People."

10. Successful people listen first and never stop listening; unsuccessful people talk too much

Kerpen says that the single most important and underrated skill in business, social media, and life in general is listening.

It's hard to do, he said, because when we get excited about our ideas, all we want to do is talk about them. But the less we talk, the easier it is to persuade other people to like those ideas — and to like us.

Kerpen writes: "Listening and letting people talk is key to winning them over in life, in business, and in all human relationships."

11. Successful people are vulnerable and transparent; unsuccessful people are protected and secretive

In the book, Kerpen writes that we learn from an early age that crying, and showing emotion in general, is a sign of weakness.

Yet he experienced firsthand the power that comes from letting yourself be vulnerable. At a management retreat for Likeable Media's executive team, Kerpen asked everyone to share the most difficult experiences they'd ever had and what they learned from them.Several people, including Kerpen himself, ended up crying, and as a result they felt "superconnected as a group.

"Kerpen writes:

As it turns out, sincerely powerful emotions — especially those powerful enough to cause tears — are quite influential in connecting with other people. If you can get yourself to experience a level of vulnerability with someone to the point where you're moved to tears, you will be able to relate to that person — and he or she can relate to you — on a much deeper level.

12. Successful people keep a positive attitude; unsuccessful people get negative too often

Kerpen writes in the book that a positive attitude is contagious, especially when it comes from a leader.

At a conference he attended more than a decade ago, one of the speakers recommended that people answer "Fantastic!" instead of something lukewarm like "fine" when someone asks, "How are you?

"Kerpen writes that the speaker "claimed that by using this word, you'll attract whoever you're talking to and make that person want to be around you, because no matter how anyone else is feeling, fantastic is probably better, and who wouldn't want to feel fantastic?"

13. Successful people are committed to gratitude and acts of kindness; unsuccessful people put themselves first

Kerpen concludes "The Art of People" by revealing the ultimate paradox, as explained by his wife: "The secret to getting everything you want at work and in life is treating people well, not trying to get everything you want.

"In other words, nice guys finish first, he says.

Here's an example of how being nice may have helped Kerpen's career. After meeting with a venture capitalist named Rich, Kerpen sent him a bonsai tree as a way of thanking him for his time.

Unfortunately, before he even received the bonsai, Rich decided not to invest in Kerpen's business. Once the bonsai arrived, however, Rich moved to introduce Kerpen to another VC who might be a better fit, and that second VC ended up investing in Kerpen's business.

Author: Jacquelyn Smith and Shana Lebowitz
Source: http://www.businessinsider.com/major-differences-between-successful-and-unsuccessful-people-2016-3/#-1

Categorized in Others

Running a business with children running around can be chaotic at the best of times. Talented parent-preneurs know that discipline, focus, and drive is needed to advance a business towards success. Being self-employed means that a flexible working schedule can be developed, and priorities can be juggled at any time of the day or night.

The following successful parent-preneurs tell us the habits they practise to stay successful at work and at home.

Habit #1: Communicating Effectively

I had stresses in business going on and they were affecting me at home. I realized that I was difficult to be around for everyone, but especially my wife. I make it a point to let her know what’s going on in the business now, even if she finds it boring. The most important part isn’t what’s happening, but how I feel about what’s happening. So even though she might not understand what’s going on, she understands that it’s making me stressed (or excited) and she feels like she’s more connected with me and I feel the same with her.

Nurture your family as much as you nurture your business. Your business may take care of your family but your family will care about you.

Brian Gatti, Partner & Consultant, Inspire Business Concepts

Habit #2: Saying No

I tell my clients that the definition of balance is not trying to get to a perfect 10 in every area of their life. Rather, it’s figuring out how they want their life to look in each area and putting the plan in place to get there.

 

My #1 tip that always works for me is to pause and consciously choose what I want to say yes to and what I want to say no to. When I don’t do that, I can make choices without realizing that saying yes to this thing really means saying no to something else I may not want to say no to.

Elene Cafasso, President & Head Coach, Enerpace Executive Coaching

Habit #3: Scheduling Family Time

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Devote one entire day to family each weekend and put away all technology. What I find that my kids want the most from me is quality time. It’s much better to set aside large chunks of time to play, talk, and explore the world and everything else can wait for a few hours (or a day).

The easiest way to do this is by setting expectations with your clients. In the digital marketing world, it’s tough not to be always on, but communicating when and how you’re available to clients can mitigate any problems.

Aalap Shah, Co-Founder, SoMe Connect

Habit #4: Loving What You Do

You have to love what you do so it doesn’t feel like work but like a hobby or passion, because you will put your blood, sweat, and tears into your business.

Kelley Kitley LCSW, Owner, SERENDIPITOUS PSYCHOTHERAPY, LLC, Author of Autobiography, My Self

 

Habit #5: Focussing Attention, Not Time

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 8.48.20 AM

You may think you have five hours to work and then wake up to a sick child. So, learn to focus only on the task at hand when you have time. You’ll find yourself much more productive if you do so. If you want to focus on your business while raising kids, you have to become a high performer. That means developing the ability to focus on what is in front of you and be present in any moment. And it means developing clarity, persuasion and productivity skills, and a sense of purpose.

Nina Amir, Chief Inspiration Officer & Inspiration to Creation Coach, Pure Spirit Creations

Habit #6: Taking Care

Keep your energy up! You can’t help your children or your customers/clients if you have no energy. Take care of yourself first so you can care for your kids and your business. (This is just like the oxygen mask on a plane. Put it on yourself first!)

Nina Amir, Chief Inspiration Officer & Inspiration to Creation Coach, Pure Spirit Creations

Habit #7: Using The 20-3-20-10 Rule

I work for 20 minutes, then do 3 minutes of quick chores (loading laundry, making coffee, etc.), then 20 more minutes of work, followed by 10 minutes of movement (stretching, prepping dinner, etc.). I use a headset whenever on a call and walk around the house if possible, or load or empty the dishwasher. When my little girl is home, she has a schedule with rewards, extra time with mommy for cooking or reading together, if she doesn’t interrupt me on a call, etc.

I will say having a child in a kid-focused business is great! Her friends served as preliminary focus groups for my gaming app and she comes up with a lot of great ideas.

Melissa Halas-Liang, Founder, Super Kids Nutrition 

Habit #8: Writing a 5-Minute To-Do List

Make a list that you keep on your phone called “5-minute to-do list.” These will be things that take 5 minutes or less to do. Every time you get an extra few minutes, whether it be waiting at the dentist’s office or standing in line at the grocery store, look at the list and do one of them. They can be things like merge your multiple contacts in your phone or search for clients’ birthdays on facebook so you can start a list and make sure you wish them happy birthday next year.

Amber Dolle, Real Estate Agent

 

Habit #9: Practising Balance

Being a working mother is a true blessing. I’m showing my children, especially my daughter, that it is okay to work, be a wife, and a friend all at the same time. Aside all the busy trips, meetings, and calls, the moment I walk inside my home, I put down my phone and step away from the computer. Turning off notifications goes a long way and helps remind me that at that moment, nothing is as urgent and important as family time.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done. In that case, I explain and show my daughter what I’m up to and why I’m on the phone. It’s a great way to converse, bring her in, help her understand and appreciate the work I’m doing. I understand that there’s more than one way to be a good mom. Being confident and balanced in life, I’m showing my children that you can be whatever you want to be without sacrificing the people and things you love.

Harriet Mills, CEO & Founder, Wine & Design

Habit #10: Identifying What’s Important

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Do something every day to move your business forward. Growing a business takes time, it’s a marathon not a sprint. Doing little items everyday will add up to success.

Heather Christian, Stressed Mommy LLC

Habit #11: Including The Family

Being an entrepreneur is typically a 24/7 commitment and therefore, my habit for success is consistently educating and including our son in our business. I wanted him to have some understanding of why we work so hard and have him feel some ownership and pride as well.

As a parent-preneur, it’s difficult to separate work from home, so giving him an opportunity to participate and learn some business skills made it truly a family business. In the process, he has set up trade shows, packed boxes, worked on our database, met with clients and worn an eagle costume!

Mickey Swortzel, Owner/CFO, New Eagle Consulting, LLC

 

Habit #12: Scheduling Work Hours

jann

If you work from home, this is the time of day that you need to be up, dressed, and ready to go. The start time may flex depending on what else is going on in your life, but keeping to a schedule gets you in a regular work frame of mind. Conversely, be sure to schedule time with yourself, your partner, kids, and your friends in your calendar.

It might seem too rigid to schedule fun time, but often if we don’t schedule it, then the time gets away from us and it doesn’t happen.

Jann Fujimoto, Speech-language Pathologist, SpeechWorks

Habit #13: Remembering Happiness Brings Success

I try to be a generally happy person. Success does not bring happiness, it’s the other way around: happiness brings success. If you are generally an unhappy person and feel sorry for yourself, if you’re constantly engaged in negative self-talk, you won’t be successful. If you are generally happy, give yourself positive feedback, and believe in yourself, you are more likely to be successful.

Jesse Harrison, Owner, Zeus Legal Funding

Habit #14: Being Disciplined

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 8.53.30 AM

When I had an 8-5 job, I use to think I was so busy, but starting my business has really put things into perspective. I wake up around 4 am to get my training done by 6:30. At 6:30, I respond to emails and do client work until 7:30 (when my girls wake up). After taking them to school (they go for half days), I rush back to the house where I fully focus on work for 4 hours. Then off to get the girls, run errands, take them swimming, make dinner, bathe them, read them a story, and then get them to bed.

 

After that, I enjoy my glass of wine while doing some more work.

Olivia Jaras, Founder & CEO of Salary Coaching for Women

Habit #15: Learning To Switch Off

I have to consciously open the app and refresh the screen in order to download new emails. That means, on a Saturday morning, I stop and think before I hit refresh and I ask myself: how will I feel after I see my emails? If I believe an email could trigger a stress response, then I usually justify waiting till another time.

I have also moved the email app from my home screen to the last screen of my iPhone so that, again, I have to consciously seek it out to check it.

Katy Martin & Krista Smith, Web Designer Beauty School

Habit #16: Embracing a Flexible Schedule

joey4

When moving from full-time employment to self employed, I kept my working day the same, starting between 8 AM and 9 AM through to 6 PM. I kept the breaks to a minimum and did my best to focus and get as much done as possible. So, all I’d done in this change is heap a load more pressure on myself for the same routine. Gone was the security of an employer paying me and there seemed to be no upside of being self employed.

After a while, I decided to relax the schedule and give myself a break if I wanted one. Not just a 5-minute coffee, but an hour or two with my son or a breakfast out with my wife, knowing I could catch up those hours this evening or at the weekend and no one was there to tell me otherwise.

Ben Hitchens, Founder, Older Dating

Habit #17: Expecting Respect

Even though I look like a stay-at-home mom, I am not. I run a business from home. They must respect the fact that I work, so if I am on the phone, they must be quiet and respect my clients. In return, I respect their needs of me. When it is their time, I am devoted to them. Very little cheating is involved. No guilt.

 

They also need to know and buy into the fact that this work feeds, houses, and clothes all of us, so they are part of this enterprise. I ask them to play their parts, do their best, and show up professionally like I have to for my clients. They come and help out at my events, they see themselves as part of the message and the business.

To celebrate our accomplishments, we go on cool vacations. My daughter knows what I make, how my work helps other women, and feels the pride in that.

Mai Vu, Author, The Divorced Mom’s Guide to Dating

Habit #18: Taking Baby Steps

Don’t be disillusioned that your business will be an overnight success (unless you’re very, very lucky or well connected). It takes hard work, focus, dedication, blood, sweat, and tears. I set myself weekly goals and keep a huge to-do list and stick to it. I’m constantly re-prioritising my to-do list and I work on the quick wins first. These small steps will eventually get you to your end goals.

Lucy McShane, Owner, Real Wedding

Habit #19: Multitasking

Multitasking is a necessity. Multitasking is also a family event. Sometimes, my kids are right next to me at Panera or Starbucks while I am sending a few quick emails. I can listen to business podcasts while also cooking dinner. Any opportunity I have to get business done during family chores/tasks, I take advantage of that time.

Heather McCarthy, Owner, Someone Special Uniquely Personalized Books

Author:  Lucy Clark

Source:  http://www.lifehack.org

Categorized in Others

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